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hologrif:

do you ever just get

viciously jealous

about people

like

no

that’s my friend

mine

(Source: dextrgrif, via a-spider)

burgrs:

[sprays u with water] no, bad opinion 

(via a-spider)

lolsofunny:

(lol here!)

(Source: sarahcaparelli)

nickelode0n:

baby, i don’t care about your stomach

or your legs

or how big your boobs are

i don’t care about you at all

leave me alone

(via bipolarat)

(Source: itskaileyhere, via the-dark-side-of-the-moon)

B-R-O-C-C-O-L-I! I am the broccoli and don’t know why!
C-A-R-R-O AND A T! Carrots are healthy for you and

(Source: ectobiologist, via pantsareunwelcome)

2073:

money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference

(via fantasy-sack)

sorryforpartybarackin:

its so rude when you try to be nice and hold the door open for people but they won’t come in the stall with you

(via best-of-text-posts)

disneyprincest:

i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again 

(via fantasy-sack)

zackisontumblr:

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I’m like this is a private residence if you don’t leave I will call the police

(via australiansanta)

urbancatfitters:

i’m majoring in self-pity with a double minor in procrastination and crying

(via a-spider)

johnquincyadams:

it’d be cool if there were like Sesame Street style shows for teenagers and Young Adults that teach you things like what to do at the post office and how not to be an asshole at parties 

(via best-of-text-posts)

slenclerman:

reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy

(via xo-andimlostinyoureyes)